[Dedy_Sulistianto]

Monggo di share, joke2 bahasa roaming disini. Boleh jawa, padang, dsb dsb.. Biar sekalian kita belajar bahasa daerah..

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BOS PERUSAHAAN terkenal, nyeluk SEKRETARISE trus ngomong,

"Sesok meeting nang luar kota siapno opo ae sing dibutuhne."

Sambil siap-siap SEKRETARISE iku telpon BOJONE,

"Sesok aku dinas nang luar kota, jaga rumah baik-baik ya mas?"

Sang SUAMI langsung telpon SELINGKUHANE,

"Bojoku sesok nang luar kota, sampean ono waktu gak?"

SELINGKUHANE, ngomong nyang MURIDE sing lagi les matematika neng awake

"Nak, besok ibu repot, les nya diliburkan."

BOCAH KURSUS iku langsung telp MBAH KAKUNGE,

"Mbah Kung, sesok les ku libur, mancing yuk!"

MBAH KAKUNG iku BOS PERUSAHAAN terkenal lgs nyeluk SEKRETARISE,

"Sesok putuku ngejak mancing, meeting keluar kota dibatalkan."

SEKRETARISE telpun BOJONE,

"Bosku ono acara keluarga meting dibatalkan aku ndak sido keluar kota."

BOJONE langsung telpon SELINGKUHANE,

"Sesok ojo mrene, bojoku gak sido lungo."

SELINGKUHANE ngomong nyang MURIDE sing di les i,

"Besok tetep masuk les nak, ibu gak jadi repot."

BOCAHE iku langsung telpon MBAH KAKUNG.

"Sesok gak sido mancing Mbah, les ku gak sido libur."

MBAH KAKUNG yoiku SI BOS nyeluk SEKRETARISE,

"Sesok sidone meeting keluar kota, putuku gak sido ngejak mancing."

SEKRETARISE langsung telpon BOJONE,

"Sori mas, sidone aku sesok meeting keluar kota,"

Sang SUAMI lgs nelpon SELINGKUHANE,

"Bojoku sido lungo, sesok reneo ya?"

SELINGKUHANE ngomongi MURIDE sing di les i,

"Besok jadi libur nak, ibu ad acara mendadak"

MURIDE iku langsung telpon MBAH KAKUNG Yoiku Si Bos...

(Terusno dewe aq kesel ngetike) *silly*

[Dedy_Sulistianto]

Interviewer : What is your birth date? 

Mr Bean : 13th October 

Interviewer : Which year? 

Mr Bean :  EVERY YEAR 

*******

Manager asked Mr Bean at an interview. 

Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? 

Mr Bean replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X. 

*******

After returning back from a foreign trip, Mr Bean asked his wife, “Do I look like a foreigner?” 

“No! Why?”

“In Delhi a lady asked me, ‘Are you a foreigner?’”

*******

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Mr Bean, “Any great man born in this village?” 

“No sir, only small babies!”

*******

Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi.
  
So Mr Bean writes, ‘Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi’.

*******

When Mr Bean was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted the mirror. Mr Bean shouted, “You are trying to see my wife? Sit behind. I will drive.”

*******

Interviewer : Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? 

Mr Bean : its simple. I will stop my imagination!

*******

Mr Bean : My mobile bill how much?

Call centre girl : Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status.  

Mr Bean : Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL. 

*******

Mr Bean : I think that girl is deaf.

Friend : How do you know? 

Mr Bean : I told I love her, but she said her chappals are new.

*******

Friend : I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! 

Mr Bean : Wow! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!

*******

Teacher : Which is the oldest animal in world?
 
Mr Bean : ZEBRA.  

Teacher : How?

Mr Bean: Bcoz it is black and white.

******* 

Mr Bean attending an interview in Software Company.
 
Manager : Do you know MS Office? 

Mr Bean : If you give me the address I will go there sir.

*******
  
Mr Bean in airplane going to Bombay. While its landing he shouted, “Birmingham, Birmingham.” 
 
Air hostess said, “B silent.”

“Ok. Irmingham. Irmingham.”

*******

Teacher : What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?

Mr Bean : All are born on government holidays.

*******  

Sir : What is difference between Orange and Apple?
 
Mr Bean : Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

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Polisi Lieur

polisi A: bray burukeun kadieu aya jelema overdosis di mobil, ganti
polisi B: saha bray? roger ganti
polisi A: Roger, ganti
polisi B: saha euy, urang wawuh jelemana? roger ganti
polisi A: Roger, ganti
polisi B: heu euh sahaaa koplok? roger ganti
polisi A: ceuk aing Roger Roger, gantiiii!!!
polisi B: saha sih? roger ganti

[Zikri Irfandi]

hahaha... btw, MR. Bean punya istri?

[Dedy_Sulistianto]

I HUMOR ORANG BATAK #No Racis#"Bang ... Butet telat sebulan, kita bakal punya bayi", kata si Taing kepada suaminya Ucok. "Tapi jangan bilang-bilang ke orang lain yaa... takut tidak jadi ... nanti malu pulak aku".Besoknya tukang tagih dari PLN ketuk pintu, begitu dibuka, tukang tagih ngomong, "Ibu sudah telat sebulan"."Bah, dari mana kau tahu ?", kata si Taing."Kan ini ada catatannya di PLN."":/Haaah, masa sampe dicatat PLN ? Besoknya si Ucok pergi ke kantor PLN . Sambil marah-marah: "Macem mana pulak PLN bisa tahu istri aku telat sebulan ?""Sabar pak. Kalau Bapak mau catatannya dihapus, Bapak tinggal bayar kepada kami "."Kalau aku tak mau bayar ?" sergah si Ucok."Punya Bapak, akan kami putusin!", jawab petugas PLN."Giiiilaa...., punya aku mau diputusin?? Kalo istri aku di rumah mau, terus pake apa ?". Petugas PLN menjawab: "Yaa, terpaksa pake LILIN ......!! Uchok: "Mamak kau gila !!!".

[Dedy_Sulistianto]

Seorang anak mandatangi uma nya, bakisah wan bakeluh kesah ttg hal buruk nang dihadapinya...

Anak : Mak abah manalah (sasambil gair ketakutan) ? ;-SHH

Ibu : Kaluar kuta, ka alabio maunjun iwak papuyu...knapa gerang ?

Anak : (bagamat mun kd bagimit kyk basiul) minta ampun lah Mak...pinanya ulun batianan ni...:'(

Ibu : Apa...Apa ujar ikam (tekajut Mamanya) ? :O

Anak : Hi'ih nah Mak (gemetaran)...:&

Ibu : Garing aja kalo ikam tu, bejauh sudah sana istarahat...:|

Anak : Tp akhir² ini ulun rancak mual² Mak ai, pina hdk muak2 tu tih...:&

Ibu : Ah...palingan masuk angin aja itu, sana ikam nukar minyak angin... Wigas aja pang itu keina..>:/

Anak : (tersedu-sedu) Hiks...Hikss.. Tp knapa wahini Ulun ketuju makan nang masam² ?

Ibu : (dgn kesal sambil teriak !-)) Wooyyy HERDY KURNIAWAN!!! Ampih² sudah ikam menghayal !! |:O|
Handak kutempeleng kah ikam nih... BENCONG itu kadada pang RAHIMNYAAA...~>:

[Krembolizer]

Tambahin ahhh...ini humor pertama kali saya baca sekitar tahun 1998-1999, tapi kalo dibaca lagi masih suka bikin ngakak.


Critane Bunali arep nglamar kerjo nang salah siji perusahaan, Bunali langsung di-interview karo Wonokairun (wong HRD) :

Wonokairun : Kowe nduwe motor Opo ora....?
Bunali : Mboten.
Wonokairun : Ora ketompo
Bunali : Lho kok mboten ketompo?
Wonokairun : Mengko kowe mesthi njaluk bantuan kredit
Bunali : Sak janipun gadhah, ning tasih teng kampung, gampil mangke kulo beto ngriki.
Wonokairun : Wah malah ra ketompo ....
Bunali : lho kok ngoten?
Wonokairun : Tempat parkire wis ra cukup.

Wonokairun : Kowé wis lulus sarjana tenan.....?
Bunali : sampun pak....
Wonokairun : Ora ketompo, kéné iki golék sing SMA aé, luwih manutan lan bén mbayaré murah
Bunali : Sak janipun kulo tasih badhe skripsi
Wonokairun : Malah ora ketompo ..
Bunali : Lho kados pundi to?
Wonokairun : Mengko kowé kerjo mung ngetik skripsi, lék wis lulus mesti golék kerjo neng perusahaan liyo...

Wonokairun : Anakmu akèh opo sithik?
Bunali : Kathah pak
Wonokairun : Kowé ora ketompo
Bunali : Sebabipun?
Wonokairun : Nyambut gawemu ora jenjem,mung mikir gawe anaaaaaak terus
Bunali : Lha wong namung anak adopsi, kok.
Wonokairun : Tambah ora ketompo
Bunali : Lho, lha kok?
Wonokairun : Gawé anak baé aras2en,opo manèh nyambut gawé

Wonokairun : Kowé wis ngerti gawéyanmu durung?
Bunali : Dèrèng
Wonokairun : Kowé ora ketompo
Bunali : Sebabipun?
Wonokairun : Arep nyambut gawé kok ora ngerti gaweyané?
Bunali : Oo, nèk damelan niku mpun ngertos kok
Wonokairun : Tambah ora ketompo
Bunali : Lho, lha kok?
Wonokairun : Kowé rak mung arep keminter, tho?

Wonokairun : Kowé biso main Internet?
Bunali : mboten
Wonokairun : Kowé ora ketompo
Bunali : Sebabipun?
Wonokairun : Perusahaan ora nompo BI (Buta Internet)
Bunali : Wah, sakjanipun nggih saged
Wonokairun : Tambah ora ketompo
Bunali : Lho, lha kok?
Wonokairun : Mesthi ora bakal nyambut gawé, kakèhan dolanan Internet, yo tho?
Ngenték-entekké pulsa.

Wonokairun : Kowe waras opo ora?
Bunali : Lha, kulo nggih waras to Pak.
Wonokairun : Ra ketompo..... ..
Bunali : Kenging nopo?
Wonokairun : Mengko kowe mesthi ora krasan neng kene
Bunali : Niku rumiyin Pak, sakmeniko sampun rodo edan.
Wonokairun : Malah ra ketompo..
Bunali : Pripun to niki?
Wonokairun : Mengko aku duwe saingan Edan,,mugo mugo sing moco iki ora melu edan..

[FiQi]

Wakakakakakaka....
Bunali, wonokairun, mat pithi, legenda legenda guyonan surabaya banget tuh... bisa aja om @Krembolizer nemu beginian

[Krembolizer]

Om @FiQi...Ini saya dapat kiriman email dari temen saya sekitar tahun 1998-1999, dan masih saya simpen gak tak hapus di email...biar bisa dibaca terus

[Zikri Irfandi]

Wonokairun minta digapl*k @Krembolizer

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(03-07-2014 08:32 AM)Dedy_Sulistianto Wrote:  Seorang anak mandatangi uma nya, bakisah wan bakeluh kesah ttg hal buruk nang dihadapinya...

Anak : Mak abah manalah (sasambil gair ketakutan) ? ;-SHH

Ibu : Kaluar kuta, ka alabio maunjun iwak papuyu...knapa gerang ?

Anak : (bagamat mun kd bagimit kyk basiul) minta ampun lah Mak...pinanya ulun batianan ni...:'(

Ibu : Apa...Apa ujar ikam (tekajut Mamanya) ? :O

Anak : Hi'ih nah Mak (gemetaran)...:&

Ibu : Garing aja kalo ikam tu, bejauh sudah sana istarahat...:|

Anak : Tp akhir² ini ulun rancak mual² Mak ai, pina hdk muak2 tu tih...:&

Ibu : Ah...palingan masuk angin aja itu, sana ikam nukar minyak angin... Wigas aja pang itu keina..>:/

Anak : (tersedu-sedu) Hiks...Hikss.. Tp knapa wahini Ulun ketuju makan nang masam² ?

Ibu : (dgn kesal sambil teriak !-)) Wooyyy HERDY KURNIAWAN!!! Ampih² sudah ikam menghayal !! |:O|
Handak kutempeleng kah ikam nih... BENCONG itu kadada pang RAHIMNYAAA...~>:

nggak ngerti ini om...blas nggak paham bahasanya

[Krembolizer]

Sing penting ora ketompo